Vital for women to take time for self management

ROCK ISLAND, Ill. — Focusing on self-care helps farm women remain important assets for their family farming operation.

“If you are not able to take care of yourself, you can’t give anything to your farm because you can’t pour from an empty cup,” said Josie Rudolphi, University of Illinois assistant professor and U of I Extension specialist.

“You absolutely have to make time for yourself and it can feel really selfish at times,” she said during a discussion at the Women in Agriculture Conference organized by several Illinois county Farm Bureaus.

Rudolphi uses the acronym, HERD, to talk about self-care.

“That stands for hobbies, exercise, relaxing and distractions,” Rudolphi said.

“From a physical and mental health standpoint we have to be able to prioritize ourselves, so I challenge you to think about where in your day you can find pieces that can be truly about yourself,” she said.

Self-care is not a reward, like getting a massage, said Adrienne DeSutter, creator of the Sow Hope Grow Hope initiative, who also participated in the discussion at the conference.

“I like to think of it as personal management and maintaining yourself so that you can give your best,” she said.

It is challenging for women, Rudolphi said, especially with social media.

“We see what we perceive to be perfect lives, perfect homes, perfect meals and perfect families and I think that is really unrealistic,” she said.

“I think having grace is really important — not just for yourself, but for other people,” said the university professor who is also involved with her family farming operation.

“On our farm we encourage each other to take time for ourselves, because if the system is going to work, everybody has to have their cup somewhat filled.”

Rudolphi recommends blocking time on the calendar to do important activities.

“It is really important for me to go to the gym in the morning,” said the professor who splits her time between the university and her family farm.

“I communicated honestly and openly to my parents and asked for 45 minutes at the gym to set me up for the best day possible,” she said. “And then I asked them if there were times in the day that were really important to them so they could carve out some time in the same way.”

When one person decides to prioritize their health, DeSutter said, this gives permission for other people to do the same thing.

“One harvest, my husband had been working lots of hours and he decided he was done for the night and it was time to go home,” the farm wife said. “The next week, someone else on the farm said it is time for us to be done for the night, so it is about being respectful of each other.”

“When you are working under conditions of extreme fatigue, stress and agitation, you are more likely to make mistakes and have an injury,” Rudolphi said.

The university professor talked about a family that decided during harvest to not work on Sundays.

“In 2023, they added one day to harvest compared to 2022,” Rudolphi said.

“There are a lot of moving parts and it is not always going to be that way,” she said. “But there is probably some wiggle room there and sometimes we don’t have to be out there harvesting and it is still going to get done.”

Stress is healthy, Rudolphi said, because it is motivating for people to get things done.

“Chronic stress is when it is unhealthy,” she said. “Chronic stress is when there is no reprieve from our stress.”

There is no good diagnosis for stress and people have different tolerance for stress, the university professor said.

However, there are indicators of stress such as changes in behavior that deviate from a person’s normal or typical routines. This could be not sleeping or sleeping more, becoming easily agitated, eating more or less or feeling really fatigued.

“Step No. 1 is to know your norm,” DeSutter said. “Know what triggers your rage, super sadness or heart palpitations.”

“Also know those small moments that trigger your joy,” the farm wife said. “Don’t wait until you are in the middle of stress. Know the things that trigger your joy so you can trigger them easier.”

DeSutter’s measurement stick is if she is getting things accomplished that she wants to.

“There are lots of resources for mental health and sometimes it is simply chatting with a friend that knows how to listen,” she said. “And sometimes it is a therapist. You don’t have to experience depression to have a counselor.”

Not only do women carry a lot of stress of their own, Rudolphi said, they also carry significant stress for the household.

“I can’t stress how important it is for us to take care of ourselves,” she said.

“Women are the heartbeat in rural communities and I encourage you all to have a network of women you can rely on and call in a minute,” the university professor said. “Whether you need to talk to someone, you need a ride or you need a babysitter, have those people you can lean on.”

It is important for women to be a support for someone so they can have support when they need it.

“You can’t be a village without being a villager,” Rudolphi said. “Be a friend so that you can have a friend.”