Do not lose hope: Finding the strength to keep going

I’ve spent years talking and writing about farmer stress, depression and suicide. I’ve interviewed experts, shared resources and encouraged conversations about mental health in agriculture.

Many of us have had neighbors, friends, family or acquaintances take their own lives. But nothing prepared me for the news that a 13-year-old farm kid in a nearby close-knit rural community had taken her own life.

The shock and grief stopped everyone in their tracks. It simply doesn’t make sense. You find yourself asking the same question over and over again: How could this happen?

From everything those around her knew, she was a typical young teenager. She loved her family. She had friends.

She was part of her school and her community. She was in 4-H. She was an accomplished athlete.

She was a beautiful girl inside and out. She had dreams, interests and a future that should have lasted for decades.

There were no obvious signs. That’s what makes this so incredibly difficult to accept.

Here to help: If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org.

As human beings, we want every tragedy to come with an explanation. We want there to be a reason, a moment we can identify or a clue that somehow makes sense of something that feels completely senseless.

Sometimes, there just aren’t answers.

Mental health struggles aren’t always visible. Emotional pain is not always exposed. Even those who love someone most and spend hours with them every single day can be completely unaware of the battle taking place inside.

That isn’t a failure of love. It’s a heartbreaking reminder of just how complex the human mind can be.

One of the things I’ve always admired about rural America is the way people show up for one another. When storms hit, neighbors help clean up.

When illness strikes, meals appear on front porches, livestock are fed and fields get harvested. We know what to do and we do it.

But there is no roadmap for this kind of grief.

A family has lost a precious member. A church has an empty seat. A school has a desk that won’t be filled.

And there is a best friend trying to understand a loss that no 13-year-old should ever have to carry. My heart keeps coming back to that friend.

She is surrounded by love, grace and patient adults who remind her every single day that this is not her burden to bear.

I pray for her as she asks questions that may never have an answer and bears a sadness no child should ever experience.

I don’t have profound wisdom to offer today. Like so many others, I simply have a broken heart for everyone whose lives have been forever changed.

Some questions may never be answered this side of heaven. We can pray for peace, even when life doesn’t make sense.

We can offer compassion instead of judgment, grace instead of speculation and hope instead of despair.

We may never find the answers we’re searching for, but we can make sure no one has to search for hope alone.